


Taste the Whip, and Bleed For Me

by switchknitter



Series: Love Not Given Lightly [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Dom Loki (Marvel), Edging, Friends to Lovers, Heavy BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Romance, Smut, Sub Tony Stark, Whipping, emotional bdsm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-14 20:20:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16919751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/switchknitter/pseuds/switchknitter
Summary: Loki is a pain in the ass.  He's arrogant, bitchy, and a drama queen.He's also Tony's ideal dom.The only problem? Tony's never subbed before...





	1. Frenemies

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to preface this with a warning.
> 
> This story is based heavily on my own personal BDSM experiences. I've been in the lifestyle on and off for over 20 years, and the scenes here are drawn from ones I've done personally.
> 
> This is not a dark fic at all. But it *is* extremely intense. The BDSM activities are pretty light from a physical standpoint -- impact play, edging, and some light bondage -- but the emotions in each scene are difficult at times for both Tony and (I'm told) the reader.
> 
> I'm not trying to turn you off. Just warning you in case it's not your cup of tea.
> 
> The story is completely written, and will be updated every night. Kudos to my beta for this, [12AngelOfDarkness21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/12AngelOfDarkness21).
> 
> Thanks for reading.

It had been almost a year since the Asgardians had relocated to Earth, and Thor’s stupidly-named “Revengers” had joined the Avengers proper. They lived in New Asgardia, a village built for Aesir refugees by the Norwegian government. Norway had been delighted to have _the actual god of thunder_ choose their country as their home; other Scandinavian nations had vied for the pleasure, but Norway offered the best deal: public transportation to Oslo, free building materials, and a degree of sovereignty for Thor and his people. As long as they broke no laws, Norway left them alone in return for promises of protection.

The Aesir were adapting to life on Earth, with mixed results. It was going pretty well, but Norway had had to pass new legislation against demanding _holmgang_ from humans and carrying swords on trains. Gods could be found buying clothes in Oslo shopping malls and reading mass-market romance novels in public libraries.

It was weird, Tony thought. But hey, it was the best solution anyone had been able to come up with.

New Asgardia was on Tony’s mind because he was on the way there in his private jet. When Thor had first landed, he’d agreed immediately to let Stark Industries handle integrating Aesir and human technology. They were friends, after all. As a result, Tony held the patents on dozens of new inventions and tech taken from Thor’s spaceship. It gave him lucrative contracts with NASA, and human space flight was advancing by leaps and bounds. Mars was within humanity’s grasp. The whole _universe_ was open to them now.

Maybe when Tony got old he’d travel the galaxy. Space sounded cool.

“Mr. Stark, we’re about to land,” the pilot said over the intercom. “Please put on your seatbelt.”

Tony buckled in and polished off the two fingers of scotch he’d been sipping on for most of the last hour. He needed a little liquid fortification if he was going to have to deal with Loki. The god of mischief was an asshole. A charming, arrogant, ridiculously good-looking asshole. Loki was Tony’s contact for all things related to the Stark Industries contracts, and the bastard could invent loopholes that required whole teams of lawyers to find.

Loki was a tricky little shit who made Tony’s life more difficult.

And damn, Tony wanted him _bad._

So yeah, liquid fortification. Not ‘courage’, mind you. He didn’t need courage to deal with Loki. He just needed to relax a little, to make sure he neither punched the god in the face or threw himself at the asshole’s feet.

Tony rarely slept with men, but he had a type. Tall, dark, and domineering. Loki fit that to a T. Tony didn’t have a lot of experience with BDSM, but he had jacked off multiple times to the idea of doing it with Loki. He had no idea if Loki was into that. But a guy could fantasize, right?

The plane landed, and Tony took off his seat belt so he could put on his coat. Norway was fucking cold in September. The door opened and stairs unfolded. Tony picked up his folding travel suit. His pilot would get the luggage and load it into the hired limousine, so all Tony had to hang on to was his Iron Man gear. 

He shivered and made for the waiting car. The driver held the door for him as he slid into the warmth of the limo. Ah, better. As he waited for the baggage to be loaded (not that he’d brought much; he was only staying a few days) he checked his email on his phone. Nothing interesting aside from a couple of engineering proposals. Reading them kept him occupied until they arrived in New Asgardia.

Putting his phone away, he exited the car and went into the Aesir’s admin building. He’d been to Thor’s office several times, so he knew the way. The door was closed, so he knocked.

Loki opened the door. “Stark,” he drawled.

Tony could see Thor sitting behind his desk further into the room. “Hey there, Reindeer Games. Point Break.”

“Friend Tony!” Thor beamed and stood, coming around to give Tony one of his rib-crushing hugs. It was a thing. An annoying thing, but Tony tolerated it.

Loki was smirking like he knew what was going through Tony’s head. He probably did. Tony imagined Loki had been tolerating those hugs for a millenium. 

Thor finally let go and stepped back. “You are here to check on the arc reactor, are you not?”

“I am.” Part of S.I.’s contract with New Asgardia required Tony to maintain the reactor that powered the village. It made him feel like a hired mechanic, but it meant he got to hang around Loki so he put up with it. The asshole liked to watch him work, asking a million questions about Midgardian science, which he scorned yet was fascinated by. Tony had the same reaction to magic as Loki did to science, so they taught each other even as they insulted each other’s fields of interest.

It was great. Tony would almost call him a friend, only he was pretty sure friends shouldn’t piss each other off as much as they did.

“The reactor’s working just fine,” Loki said. “I don’t know why you bothered coming over here.”

“Maybe I missed your smiling face.”

“Maybe I should teleport you back to your ridiculous tower.”

“I’m heartbroken.” Tony put his hands to his heart and batted his eyelashes.

“You should be,” Loki deadpanned.

“You two are like children,” Thor muttered.

Loki rolled his eyes. Tony stuck his tongue out at him.

“Come on, you fool,” Loki said to Tony. “I’ll supervise to make sure you don’t break anything.”

Loki always said that. It was their thing.

As they walked, he shifted his suit to his other hand. “So how’s tricks, Tricks?”

“Same as usual. Paperwork, annoying Thor, more paperwork, people asking me for favors.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“It’s thrilling. Truly.”

Tony bumped Loki’s arm with his own. “You need a vacation.”

Loki stopped and turned to face him. “And where could I go where the mortals wouldn’t spit in my face?” Earth still had _issues_ with Loki. He was a member of the Avengers, but nobody was happy about it, despite Loki having saved many lives in his missions with the team.

“You could come hang out with me,” Tony said without thinking. He blinked, his brain catching up with his mouth. Sure, why not? “I’ve got a house in Malibu. That’s southern California. Lay on the beach, drink margaritas, watch me build cool shit.”

“That sounds awful. When do we leave?”

Tony laughed. “You’re welcome anytime, Vixen.”

“ _‘Vixen_ ’?”

“I’m running out of reindeer, okay?” Tony tried to change it up, he really did. He resumed walking, Loki by his side.

“I looked up your idiotic nicknames. I do not understand them. Why reindeer?”

Tony made horns with his fingers and held them up to his head. “Your helmet. It’s dumb.”

“It’s fashionable. And looks nothing like those animals.”

“Whatever you say, Princess.”

“I am not a woman, Stark.” Loki smirked. “At least, not at the moment.”

“You can do that?”

Loki scoffed. “I am a gifted shape-shifter.”

“And every bisexual’s wet dream, apparently.”

The god sniggered. “Oh, you have no idea, Stark.”

Loki’s low purr was going to appear in every single one of Tony’s fantasies from here on out. He covered his flare of lust by shoving the building’s front door open. “After you, Your Worship.”

“Oh, finally learning your place, are you?”

“In your dreams, Rock of Ages.”

“I don’t understand that reference either.”

Tony shrugged. “You’re... old?”

Loki stopped walking again to stare at Tony. “Seriously, Stark? That’s the best you can do?”

“Don’t blame me. It’s too cold out here to think.” They arrived at the reactor’s building and went inside.

“You Midgardians are so weak.”

“At least we haven’t blown up our own planet.” 

“ _Yet_.”

Tony paused. “Okay, I’ll give you that one.” He took off his coat. Popping open a panel on the reactor, Tony started checking all the components and wiring. He’d built this reactor especially for freezing weather, given the location of New Asgardia. Everything was looking good. He went over every inch of it as he and Loki talked. He took his time, wanting to hang out with his… frenemy?

“I’ve been figuring out some interesting things about Midgardian magic,” Loki said casually.

“Wait, you’re finding something Midgardian _interesting_? Let me mark the date on my calendar.”

“Cute, Stark.” Tony wasn’t looking at Loki, but he swore he could hear the god’s eyes roll. “I was reading this book I found--”

“‘Found’?”

“Liberated from Strange’s library. Happy?”

Tony laughed at Loki. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell the Caped Crusader you’ve been stealing his shit.”

“My thanks,” Loki said drily. “Back to the book. Apparently Midgard has something called a ‘mirror dimension’. I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“Does Captain Kirk have a pointy goatee there?”

“Not that kind of mirror, from what I understand.” Tony had bullied Loki into watching the original _Star Trek_ series. Loki still hadn’t forgiven him.

“So are you going to go there?”

“No, it sounds like a dull place. But I could store my foes there.”

“Magical closet. Got it.”

“Something like that,” Loki agreed.

“Have you figured out how to put people there yet?”

“I need to steal another book for that. I thought I’d finish this one first.”

“Your own personal lending library.”

“Quite.”

Tony put the last panel back in place. Checking everything didn’t take much time. Unfortunately.

“Stark.” Loki sounded weirdly hesitant.

“Yeah?” He looked up into those gorgeous green eyes.

“Were you serious about that vacation?”

Tony grinned. “Absolutely.”

“Are you going to make me watch more terrible television?”

“Probably.”

Loki sighed heavily. “You are infuriating.”

“Pot, meet kettle.” Tony was still grinning like an idiot.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Fine. Go home. I will join you as soon as my current projects are complete.”

_Awesome_. “Call first. I’d rather you not show up while I’m in the shower or something.”

“In your dreams, Stark.”

“My nightmares, you mean.” Tony was a lying liar. _Mmmm, Loki in the shower…_

“Don’t worry, your virtue is safe with me.”

Tony barked a laugh. “What virtue?”

“Precisely.”

As the pair walked back to the admin building, Tony’s heart was pounding. How the hell would he get through this without Loki realizing Tony had a thing for him?

Eh, screw it. That was a problem for Future Tony. Right now he had a houseguest to prepare for...


	2. Virgin Offerings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I planned to do this one a day, but honestly I have all the patience of a golden retriever on amphetamines. 
> 
> This is the first chapter where things get intense. Buckle in, y'all.

A few weeks later, Tony was in his Malibu home, fiddling with a new repulsor design. Loki was due today. Tony didn’t know if he’d call right before teleporting in, or--

“Stark.” The god of mischief suddenly stood on Tony’s left.

Tony startled and dropped the screwdriver he held. “For fuck’s sake, Loki. You promised you’d call first.”

“It was more fun this way.” Loki crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the table. “I did tell you I would be here Tuesday afternoon. And what’s today?”

Tony rolled his eyes so hard it hurt. “I’m not an idiot.”

Loki smiled condescendingly. “So you keep telling me.”

Tony rolled his chair backwards and swiveled it so he could stand. “C’mon, asshole, I’ll show you your room.” He led the god up to the bedrooms on the second floor of the house.

“Here you are, Princess.”

Loki followed Tony into the room, and made a show of inspecting it. He ran a finger down the lampshade next to the bed, inspecting the digit for dust. “Hmmm.”

Tony laughed. As if his housekeeping service hadn’t done an impeccable job in preparing the room. “You are such a jerk.”

Loki’s mouth quirked. “Me?”

Tony just laughed harder. Loki seemed pleased with himself.

“I require food, Stark.”

“Yes, Your Worship. What’s your pleasure?”

“I want pho.”

“Pho?”

“It’s a soup from Vietnam--”

“I know what it is, Loki. I just didn’t know you’d had it.”

“Oslo has a surprisingly large variety of Midgardian cuisines.”

“Pho it is, then. Just tell FRIDAY what you want.”

They placed their orders, and went to sit in the living room. “Watch any good TV lately?” Tony asked. For all that Loki pretended to despise ‘Midgardian barbarity’, he was a sucker for pop culture and absorbed anything Tony recommended. Loki had even suggested a few things to Tony before in return, mostly obscure British science fiction.

“I am currently on season one of _Red Dwarf_ ’. It amuses me.”

Tony sniggered. “Oh my god, you’re Cat.”

“And you’re obviously Lister.” Loki had a thought. “Although in your suit of armor you could be mistaken for the talking toaster.”

Tony cackled. He was enjoying this way too much.

Loki cracked a smile. Tony wasn’t the only one, it seemed.

They spent the evening watching _Red Dwarf_ and eating pho and insulting each other. It was weirdly comfortable.

So, of course, Tony’s subconscious had to go and ruin it.

In bed that night, he had an incredibly vivid dream of Loki topping him. The ropes, the whip, the pain, the ecstasy -- it all seemed so real that Tony had a hard time looking Loki in the face across the breakfast table the next morning.

Loki was too fucking perceptive. “Pleasant dreams, Stark?”

Tony tensed. “Why do you ask?”

“Because you’re pretending your toast is the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen, and you haven’t insulted me once.”

_Fuck_. Tony didn’t think he’d been that obvious.

“Relax, Stark,” Loki said, not unkindly. “I can’t judge you for having good taste.”

That snapped Tony out of his embarrassment. “Your definition of ‘good taste’ and mine are very different, Dasher.”

“Come now, Tony.” Loki leaned towards him, and his voice was pitched low. It was sexy as fuck. “Surely you don’t think your interest isn’t returned.”

_Wait, what?_

Tony’s shock must have been obvious, for Loki smirked. “It has been many years since I’ve had a bit of fun,” the god said. “You’re mildly interesting, for a Midgardian, and your face and body are tolerable enough.”

“Way to woo a guy,” Tony shot back, still reeling.

“I don’t wish to ‘woo’ you, Stark. Just fuck you well enough that you spend the rest of your sad mortal existence craving my cock again.”

That shouldn’t have sounded as hot as it did.

“You think you’re that good?”

“I know it.”

Oh, fuck, that arrogance. Under the table, Tony was getting hard. “Then prove it.”

“I will. Later.” Loki’s mouth quirked. “Right now I wish to lay on your beach and drink margaritas, as you promised me.”

Fucking tease.

“Whatever my Princess wants,” Tony mocked.

“Oh good. You’re learning.” The god stood. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

It was a good thing Tony made a mean margarita.

\---

Loki really did it. He laid on the beach under an umbrella, sipping a cocktail, reading Neil Gaiman’s _American Gods_ and cackling like a loon every few pages.

It was surreal. 

Tony hung out with him for a little while, but got bored when it became clear Loki was just going to read. The asshole was teasing him and it pissed Tony off.

So Tony ignored him too, and went back to working on his repulsor. Screw Loki. Or, well, _not_ , as the case may be. Bastard.

Some hours later the god showed up in the workshop, still dressed in swim trunks and sunglasses. He had been swimming, it looked like; his hair and swim trunks were still damp

_Jesus_ , Tony thought. _Those abs_. “Stop dripping water on my floor, Snowflake.”

“Only if you order dinner. I want Baja Mexican.”

“Well, you’re in the right part of the country for that. Fish tacos?”

“And shrimp,” Loki agreed. “I’ll go slip into something more… comfortable,” he purred.

_Bastard_.

Once Loki had gone, Tony put his work down with a frustrated sigh. Once he’d sorted out dinner with FRIDAY, he went upstairs and threw himself on the couch. He closed his eyes.

“Problem?”

Dammit, Tony needed to put a bell on the god. A now-dressed Loki was leaning against the wall, watching him intently.

“No problem at all, Comet.”

“If you call me Cupid next, I will end you.”

Tony cackled. “You’d make a cute cherub.”

Loki scowled, and Tony gave himself a point for that. “The real Cupid is a sadist who gets off on making people suffer. All that,” he sneered, “unrequited _love_.”

“Love is for suckers.” Tony learned that when Pepper dumped him eight months ago for some stockbroker. He still hadn’t forgiven her, although he’d kept her on as CEO. He doubted he could find anyone as competent as she was -- at least, not anyone who could also put up with Tony.

“Sore spot, Stark?”

“Fuck you, Loki.” The anger in his voice surprised them both.

The god was silent for a long moment. “I am sorry. I mean to tease, not offend.”

Tony let out a long sigh. “We’re cool. Just had a bad breakup a while back.”

“Whoever they were, they were a fool.”

Well, _that_ was unexpected. “Thank you?”

Loki just shrugged.

FRIDAY spoke. “Boss, the food is here.”

Tony was glad the awkward moment was broken. He got off the couch and went to the door, taking the food and giving the woman a large tip.

When he came back, Loki was in the kitchen. He’d gotten plates from the cupboard and a couple of beers from the fridge.

“You like beer?” Tony asked, surprised. Somehow Loki struck him as someone who would be a wine snob.

“Only the good ones.” Loki wrinkled his nose. “Thor made me try a Budweiser once. It was like bilgesnipe piss.”

Beer snob, then. Tony approved, although he wasn’t sure how the Belgian tripel would pair with tacos. He set the food down and started taking out boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. Loki was an expensive date.

They sorted through the packages, each taking what they wanted, then sat opposite each other at the table.

Loki took a large bite of the small soft taco. He chewed thoughtfully, then swallowed. “Acceptable.”

“So glad Your Worship approves.” Tony ate a bite of his own food. “Yeah, that’s pretty good.” He took a swig of the beer. They went surprisingly well together. Huh.

They ate in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Just two friends sharing a meal. It was… _nice_.

After dinner they watched some more _Red Dwarf_. Tony was wondering if he was going to get laid tonight.

He really hoped so.

When the current episode ended, Loki ordered FRIDAY to turn the TV off and Loki shifted to face Tony on the couch. “Stark. We need to talk.”

That didn’t sound good. Tony turned so he could watch the god. “Something wrong?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Loki paused long enough to make Tony nervous. Finally, he spoke. “As you know, I have been familiarizing myself with your culture.”

“Uh-huh. And?”

“Midgardians have a great deal of creativity when it comes to sex.”

“Yes..?” Tony had no idea where this was going.

“Taboo perversions on Asgard are considered nearly normal here.”

“Such as...?”

“What are your thoughts on, ah, BDSM?”

Tony blinked. “I… think it could be fun?”

“You don’t know from experience?”

“No… I mean, I’ve had some thoughts that way, but, uh, I have some trust issues.”

“You’re submissive, then.”

Tony winced. “Maybe?”

“I have taken many lovers on other realms who wished to kneel for me,” Loki said. “But I always had to hide it from Asgard. It is seen as a sign of mental disturbance, to wish to cause pain to one’s lover.”

“Oh. Well, you _are_ rather disturbed.”

Loki’s face shuttered. “Never mind, then. Forget I asked. I’ll take my leave.”

Tony reached out and grabbed Loki’s arm before the god could disappear. “I was kidding, Lokes. Don’t go.”

Loki eyed Tony suspiciously. “Do not mock me about this. Broaching the subject is difficult enough for me.”

“I’m sorry.” Tony sat back, letting go of him. “I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with wanting it. You’re right, it’s pretty normal among humans.” He paused. “Can I ask why you didn’t just, y’know, grab me and do what you want to me?”

Loki’s body language was all wrong, awkward in a way Tony had never seen before. “I’ve been reading books on how mortals negotiate such things. I thought I would attempt it. With you.” He looked Tony in the eyes. “And tell me, Stark: with your trust issues, how would you have reacted if I just ‘grabbed you’?”

Ouch. Yeah. “You have a point.”

“So I am attempting to do this the right way, because I very much like the idea of topping you.”

In Tony’s fantasies, it never went like this. His libido was disappointed, but the rest of him deeply appreciated Loki’s effort to talk this out first. It was awkward, but at least it was weird for both of them.

“Well, um. I do want you to, I’m just, uh, not sure where to start.”

“Tell me what you’ve thought about. Fantasized about.” It sounded kind of like an order.

This was so embarrassing. “Nothing too weird, just being tied up and whipped, and fucked.” Tony paused. “Not sure I’m ready for bondage in real life though.”

“Tell me about the whip you picture.”

“Different things. I… I like the looks of those leather floggers, and maybe a cane? Although I’d have to work up to that, I think.”

“Do you imagine just the sensation of pain, or the pleasure of emotional submission as well?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“Do you want to feel used? Do you wish to be humiliated, or pampered? Abused? Punished, or rewarded?”

Jesus, Loki was asking some hard questions. “I don’t want to be punished. I’ve been told there are things wrong with me for most of my life. I don’t need my dom doing the same.”

Loki let out a breath. “Good.”

“That’s good? I thought you’d want--”

“I am willing to punish my submissives when they wish for it, but I take no pleasure in it.”

Holy shit. That was _awesome_. Part of the reason Tony had never subbed for anyone was that he always assumed punishment was a part of it.

“So… If you don’t want to punish me, why do you want to hurt me?”

“Because you like it. Because you wish to please me, to gratify my desires, to show your willingness to give yourself to me, even just for a night. Because your tears would taste sweet when they were shed because I wished it.”

Jesus, Loki was amazing with the dirty talk. Tony was getting hard just listening to him.

He and Loki shared a scorchingly hot look. Loki’s eyes were darkening in lust, and Tony was pretty sure his was too.

Deliberately, Loki sat back, distancing himself slightly as he calmed himself. “You like that.”

“I do. A lot.”

“We are in accord, then.” Loki shifted slightly. Tony noticed he wasn’t the only one getting hard. “Tell me what you don’t want. Your limits.”

“No blindfolds. No bondage, but you could hold me down.” Those were the first things that came to Tony, and he had to work to come up with others. “No humiliation. No age play. No, uh, feces. That’s all I can think of right now.”

“And your safeword?”

“Did you come across the ‘traffic light’ thing in your reading?” Tony didn’t know much about BDSM, but he’d heard of that one somewhere and liked it. 

Loki thought. “Ah. Red for stop, yellow for slow, green for go. That will do.” He nodded, satisfied. “Shall we begin, then?”

Suddenly Tony was terrified. He nodded, very slowly.

Loki sat up straight. “Go upstairs to my room. Undress yourself and kneel at the foot of the bed. You have three minutes.” When Tony didn’t move, Loki shoved him. “Now. Go.”

Tony scrambled off the couch and ran for Loki’s room. He tore off his T-shirt and fought to undo his pants with trembling hands. He threw his clothes on the chair and knelt, as ordered.

Why was this so scary? Loki wasn’t going to do anything they hadn’t just talked about, but Tony was shaking like a leaf. He tried to make himself relax, but he couldn’t. Time passed too slowly. Had it been three minutes yet? It felt like longer.

And then Loki was there, standing to his right side, his left hand on Tony’s right shoulder. “Such a good pet.” He buried his hand in Tony’s hair, stroking it. Tony started to relax a little --

\-- and then Loki made a fist, and yanked Tony’s hair back so Tony was forced to look up at him. “I am going to whip you,” he informed Tony, “with this.” Loki showed Tony a flogger, very similar to the ones that had featured in Tony’s fantasies. Had Loki brought it with him? “Then you are going to suck my cock, and if you are good I will hold you down and fuck you until you beg to come. I may even let you. Do you understand?”

Tony swallowed thickly. “Yes.”

“Yes, _what?_ ”

“Yes… sir? Yes, Loki?” Tony thought hard, which was becoming increasingly difficult. “Yes, my god?”

Loki smiled, every inch the predator. “Oh, yes,” he purred. “I like that one. You may use it.”

Tony nodded as much as he could, given Loki still held his hair.

“Use your words, pet.”

“Thank-- thank you, my god.”

“Good boy.” Loki pulled Tony’s hair, forcing him to rise up and bend over the edge of the bed. “I will not make you count. The number of lashes you can take is irrelevant; what I want to see is how much you can take before you break for me.”

“Y-yes, my god.”

Tony felt the tendrils of leather glide down his back and ass, raising goosebumps on his skin. He was expecting Loki to hit him hard, and he was oddly disappointed when Loki struck him with barely a touch. But the next stroke was a little harder, and the next a little harder still. Tony found himself craving every blow, even as the sensations tilted towards actual pain. Loki spared no inch of flesh between Tony’s shoulders and ankles, save the tender area of Tony’s lower back.

Suddenly, as he’d begun to relax into the whipping, Loki flogged him hard, and Tony cried out with the pain of it. The next blow was equally brutal, and Tony was squirming to get away, but Loki pushed him back down. “Be still,” the god ordered. Tony focused on that, on keeping himself motionless, but it was so very hard when Loki was striking him over and over again.

Then the whipping was over, and Tony missed it immediately. But then Loki had him by the hair again and was forcing him to his knees beside the bed. The god opened his pants, freeing his erection. “Suck me,” he demanded.

Tony put his mouth on Loki’s cock, trying his best to focus on pleasing his god. Loki fucked into his mouth shallowly, and Tony tried to remember what to do, but his brain wasn’t working right.

“Ssh, pet,” Loki said, adjusting his grip on Tony’s hair. “Just take it. Take _me_.” With that, Loki began fucking his mouth in earnest. Every once in a while he’d pull Tony’s head down further than Tony could comfortably go, and it made his eyes water. He closed his eyes and just lost himself in the sensation of being used.

Finally Loki pushed Tony’s head down so far that his cock was nearly all in Tony’s mouth. “Swallow,” Loki ordered breathlessly, and came hard down Tony’s throat.

He let go of Tony’s hair. “On the bed now, pet. On your back. You’ve earned your reward.”

The words made Tony nearly burst into tears for reasons he didn’t understand. He fought the urge back and did as Loki obeyed. As soft as the sheets were, they made his abused back and ass burn with agony. Tony did start to cry then, and Loki lay beside him. “Oh, my sweet boy. Just relax. Let me take care of you.” He took Tony’s cock in hand and stroked him as he kissed the tears from Tony’s cheeks. He put his mouth to Tony’s own, kissing him for the first time, sweetly, as Tony came with a soft whimper.

Tony started to sob. He didn’t know why, but he felt like something had cracked in his chest. His god just held him as the floodgates opened. He cried for what seemed like hours before the tears finally stopped.

Tony felt like he was floating. Disconnected from everything but the solid weight of Loki’s embrace. Everything was quiet in his head. 

Time passed.

Tony’s brain started coming back to him slowly. “Thought you were gonna fuck me,” he slurred. He felt drunk, yet… not.

“It’s not what you needed, pet.” Loki was being so very tender. Tony didn’t understand. How could he deserve such kindness? “Tilt your head up. You need water.” Tony wasn’t thirsty until the cool liquid touched his lips. He drank and drank from the cup Loki held for him, until it was empty.

Tony was tired. So very tired. He curled into his god, and let the warm darkness of sleep take him.


	3. Going higher

When Tony awoke from his nap on Loki’s shoulder, he felt almost unnaturally calm. Peaceful. He yawned. “About how long did I sleep?” he asked the god, who still held him close.

“Perhaps an hour,” Loki replied.

Tony stilled. “You didn’t have to stay.”

“I needed to be here when you woke.”

“Why?”

“You Midgardians call it ‘aftercare’.” Loki stroked Tony’s hair.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Tony protested. _Stark men are made of iron_. But, then, Stark men probably didn’t cry during sex either.

Thank fuck Howard was long gone.

“You need me right now, my pet, whether you wish to believe it or not.” Loki kissed his forehead.

“It feels really weird to have you be nice to me,” Tony confessed. “Normally you’re all snarky.”

“Normally I haven’t just topped you.”

“True.”

They lay together quietly as Loki kept petting his hair gently.

“Can I have some more water?” Tony asked.

“Of course.” Loki made a hand gesture and conjured a cup, which he held to Tony’s lips.

Tony knew he was capable of drinking for himself, but it felt kind of nice to let Loki do all the work. He drank the water greedily.

When it was gone, the cup vanished again and Tony let his head rest back on Loki’s shoulder. He normally wasn’t a cuddler, but something in him needed this closeness. Something to think about later, Tony thought to himself. Right now he just wanted to enjoy this bizarre yet comfortable peace inside him. He felt fragile, but not in a brittle way. Just… delicate, as much as he hated to use the word. Like the peace within him could shatter with just a word.

“Don’t think so much, pet. Just let yourself relax.”

“Have you met me?”

Loki huffed a laugh. “Is there anything you need right now? Anything at all.”

Tony thought. “Sugar. I want a donut.”

“Do you have any?”

“No?”

“I’m sure FRIDAY can get us some.”

“Of course, Mr. Odinson.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.” Loki kissed Tony’s forehead again. “Soon you will have your sugar.”

“Thanks.” Tony closed his eyes and relaxed. He focused on the feel of Loki wrapped around him. The warmth of his skin, the wintery scent of him, the calm breathing. He must have dozed, because the next thing he knew Loki was telling him he would be right back with donuts.

When Loki returned, Tony was sitting up against a stack of pillows at the headboard. “Gimme,” he demanded.

Loki rolled his eyes, but handed over the box of donuts. Tony greedily dove in. FRIDAY had gotten half a dozen of his favorites, glazed yeast donuts with chocolate frosting. Tony took a bite and nearly moaned. His blood sugar must be through the floor, he thought, licking a bit of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.

Loki was staring. Tony offered him the box. “Donut?”

“No, thank you.”

Tony shrugged and went back to eating. He was feeling more like himself. Just… better. Like a weight had been lifted off him. Catharsis.

“You’re getting crumbs in the bed.”

Tony smirked. “Not my bed, not my problem.”

“I am rethinking this whole ‘punishment’ thing.” It was obvious from the way Loki said it that he was joking.

“Hmph. See if I let you near me with a whip again.”

“You would deprive yourself just to spite me?” Loki looked amused as he settled in next to Tony.

“Honestly? No. I don’t enjoy depriving myself of anything I want.”

“Your hedonism astounds me.” 

“Pot, kettle.”

Loki’s face turned solemn. “In all seriousness, I would not be averse to doing this again, after you’ve had some time to recover.”

“You… enjoyed it?” Tony felt that fragility rise up again.

“I did. Very much so.”

The tension inside Tony eased. “Good. I think I did too. It was… I don’t have the words for it.”

“Too much?”

“I don’t think so?”

“See how you feel after you’ve had some time to process everything. Speaking of which, are you familiar with what ‘sub drop’ is?”

Tony shook his head. “I’ve heard the term, but I don’t know exactly.”

“As the next day or two go by, you will probably experience some strong emotions. Potentially negative ones. They are normal, especially when a scene has been particularly intense.” Loki put a hand on Tony’s thigh to reassure him. “I will help you through it. You won’t be alone.”

Tony felt absurdly grateful. Or maybe it wasn’t absurd. Maybe this was normal too. His only awareness of BDSM had been through porn, and porn was never realistic. Maybe he should find some books on the subject.

“What are you thinking, pet?”

“I should do some reading,” Tony replied. “On what’s normal.”

“I will show you some web sites later,” Loki promised. “Don’t go looking on your own; there is a great deal of misinformation online.”

Tony could believe that. “All right.”

He ate another donut, and Loki conjured more water for him. This time he held the cup himself. “I need to go to the bathroom,” Tony told the god. “I’ll be right back.”

“Let me help you up.” Loki got out of bed and walked around to Tony’s side. “You may find your legs weak.”

Loki wasn’t kidding, Tony thought, wobbling as he stood. With Loki’s help he got to the bathroom door. “I can take it from here,” he said, and closed the door behind him.

He pissed, flushed, and went to wash his hands. He stared at himself in the mirror. There were tear tracks on his cheeks, still, and dried sweat in his hair, but he looked different, somehow. Or else he was seeing himself differently. He didn’t feel up to questioning it, so he washed his hands and face.

There was a full-length mirror on the back of the door. Tony turned his back to it and looked over his shoulder. _Woah_. His upper back, ass, and legs were all was covered in whip marks. Most of them were red, but a few were bruising already. He stared.

There was a knock at the door. “All you all right?”

Tony opened it. “Yeah, I was just looking at my back.”

“It turned you on,” Loki said, noticing Tony’s half-erect dick.

“Yeah.”

“I would fuck you now, if you wish.” At the look on Tony’s face, Loki smiled softly. “As equals, Stark. I meant it when I said I will not top you again until you have recovered.”

The idea of being equal in bed with Loki right now was a pleasant one. Tony moved into the god’s space and ran his thumbs over Loki’s nipples to see if they were sensitive. They weren’t, particularly, but Loki was getting hard anyway.

Tony walked over to the bed and lay on his back. _Ouch_. His backside was going to ache for a while. “You may service me now,” he joked.

“Of _course_ you would make me do all the work.” Loki rolled his eyes as he got back in bed.

“Not too much work to do, honestly. I just fucked myself with a dildo last night. And,” he added, eyeing Loki’s cock, “you’re pretty big, but Clyde is bigger.”

“‘Clyde’?”

“Like a Clydesdale horse.” Tony held his hands about a foot apart. “I like them large.”

Loki’s eyebrows went up. “Ever been fisted?”

“No, but I’ve watched a lot of porn.” The idea of Loki’s large hand inside him was both terrifying and sexy as hell.

“Hmmm. I’ll add it to the list.”

“You have a _list_?”

“There are a lot of things I’d like to do to you,” Loki replied.

Tony shivered. “Tell me about it?”

“Perhaps later. Right now, though…” he lightly pinched Tony’s nipple.

Tony hummed in pleasure, and reached out to pull Loki half onto him. The god was crazy heavy for being as thin as he was. “Kiss me,” Tony demanded.

“Pushy little thing.” Loki chuckled, but complied.

What followed was fairly vanilla foreplay, but the more Loki made Tony writhe, the more his backside hurt. It turned him on like mad, and he was pleased to reach down and feel that the god was rock-hard. “C’mon, Lokes. Fuck me already.”

Loki stroked himself. Tony had to laugh. “Magical lube? Really?”

The god grinned. “It’s the first spell any teenage mage-in-training goes looking for.”

“Heh. I can imagine so.” He took a deep breath as the head of Loki’s cock pressed into him slowly. Once the head was in, Tony wrapped his legs around the god and pulled him in. “C’mon, I can take it.”

“Oh?” Loki abruptly thrust himself the rest of the way into Tony, drawing a moan from him. He pulled Tony’s legs higher up his torso and leaned forward, nearly bending him in half. He pounded into Tony, fucking him so hard that Tony was sure he’d have extra bruises. Loki’s hips slamming into him made the whip marks on his ass hurt, and the thrusting rubbed his back against the mattress. It hurt like hell, and Tony was turned on beyond words.

He was close, so close. He just needed a little more. He reached down to grab his dick, but Loki slapped his hand away. It heightened Tony’s arousal, that Loki was being a little bit bossy even now, but Tony got his revenge when he squeezed Loki tight within him.

Loki was panting. He was gorgeous like this, long hair disheveled and eyes dark with lust. “C’mon, Loki. Make me come.”

Loki grabbed Tony’s hair, pulled his head to the side, and bent down to sink his teeth into Tony’s neck. The pain made Tony come with a shout, his cock spurting even as he felt Loki come inside him.

A long moment passed before either of them could move. Loki rolled off Tony to lay on his back beside him.

Tony finally caught his breath. His neck throbbed with pain now, too.. Loki had bitten him really fucking hard. Tony rolled onto his side to give his backside some relief, facing Loki.

“So that was good.”

Loki smiled, eyes closed, smug. “It was tolerable.”

Tony laughed and shoved him with one hand, knowing it wouldn’t budge the god at all. “You’re still an asshole.”

“Probably,” Loki agreed, still grinning.

“I’m going to sleep now,” Tony told him.

“Good plan.” Loki opened his eyes and reached over to retrieve the bedding from the floor. Goddamn, Loki had a fine ass. It disappeared under the blankets, along with the rest of him.

Tony pulled the covers up to his chin. He was sore but well-fucked, and totally worn out.

It had been a weird day. Tony’s last thought as he drifted off was that he knew Loki knew healing spells, and that he was sure he didn’t want the god to use them tomorrow. Heh. Sitting down was going to be fun…

\----------

Sitting down was _not_ fun. 

Loki was smirking at Tony, enjoying his discomfort as Tony shifted his position yet again. Bastard.

They were technically watching a movie, but Tony was lost in his own thoughts. Loki was giving him time and space to process the scene they’d done, yet sticking close if Tony needed him. Tony appreciated it.

He still felt some of the fragility, deep within him. Part of him was terrified that he’d lost his inner strength, that the cracks Loki had made in his psyche last night were bad things.

He had always pictured BDSM as just something sexy with no consequences. Kinky foreplay and nothing more. He never dreamed that he would have such an emotional reaction to submission. It was wild and terrifying and something new to a hedonist who’d tried almost everything else.

How far was he willing to go? How far was _Loki_?

Tony was scared. And yet he wanted to do it all again. Was there something wrong with him, that he wanted the emotional side of this? That he _liked_ Loki getting inside his head and tearing him apart a little bit? Would Tony be a different person if they kept going? He didn’t want to lose his identity to this. He was Tony Fucking Stark: genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. He didn’t just want to be some slave who thought of nothing but his dom.

Loki casually leaned in and rested his shoulder against Tony. He said nothing, eyes on the screen.

Tony took such comfort in that. That Loki had felt his distress and wanted to comfort him. Their friendship was an odd one, but he trusted Loki in a lot of ways. Not like he trusted Rhodey, his oldest friend. He didn’t know Loki well enough for that. But Tony had fought alongside the god, who had saved his life at least twice in his year as an Avenger. Loki gave a shit about him, at least a little.

A horrible thought struck Tony. What if Loki broke him and then just _left_?

Tony knew his abandonment issues were almost as large as his problems trusting people, so he mentally kicked himself. But it was still a valid question. If Loki left those cracks in Tony, would he have to find another dom? He didn’t want to. It was hard enough letting Loki top him, and he knew Loki gave a shit. The idea of feeling what he’d felt last night with a stranger? No. Just… no.  
  


Maybe with other doms it _was_ more like foreplay. Maybe Loki was unusual.

Feeling a bit silly, Tony glanced at the god. “Hey, think maybe you can show me those web sites you were talking about?”

“Of course,” Loki said. He didn’t seem surprised that Tony was asking. “Give me your tablet.”

Tony took a StarkPad from the table beside the couch and handed it to Loki. The god handed it back a moment later, and returned to watching the movie.

It was a basic primer, but the site was incredibly thorough. There was a section on different kinds of play. One on contracts. One on where to buy gear. Tony could read all that later. What he was interested in was…. Ah, there. ‘The Emotional Impact of Submission.’

Tony read. Holy shit, what he was feeling and thinking was _normal_. Yeah, different subs had different reactions to things, but overall Tony was responding perfectly normally to being topped for the first time. It made him feel a million times better. He still didn’t have all the answers to the things he was asking himself -- and it was obvious he needed to talk to Loki about it some more -- but he was comforted to find that he wasn’t alone in dealing with this stuff. There were even online groups where subs could talk about submission and all the things that went with it. He wasn’t ready to discuss his feelings with anyone else, but it was nice to know he had the option.

He turned off the tablet and set it aside. He knew Loki was paying more attention to him than he was to the film, so he screwed up his courage and asked the big question. “What is it you want from me?”

“FRIDAY, please pause the movie.” She didn’t answer Loki, but the screen went black. The god moved to face Tony. “I want to pleasure you, and for you to pleasure me in return. I want an outlet for my desires, and I want you to be that outlet for as long as you’re enjoying yourself.

“I like you, Stark. I like your wit and your intelligence. I want to hurt you, but not _harm_ you. I respect you.”

“Even after last night?”

“ _Especially_ after last night.” Loki’s expression was earnest. “It took a great deal of bravery to give yourself to me. There is a deeply-rooted strength in being able to submit to another, and I admire that greatly.”

Tony had cried his eyes out, and Loki thought him strong for it. Huh. He turned that idea around in his head for a while.

It would take a while to wrap his brain around that, so he changed the subject. “How did you learn all this?”

“My first submissive was extremely experienced. I was perhaps 300 years old when I went to study with her; she was a mage of some repute, a forest elf, and I traveled to Alfheim to learn healing magics from her. We were immediately attracted to each other. During the day she taught me to heal, and at night she introduced me to darker pleasures.

“Since then I have had perhaps half a dozen submissives of my own, and played with many others. I learned much from each of them, as every sub is unique. I will learn from you, too, should you wish to continue.”

“I… I do. I’ll be honest, this all terrifies me, but at the same time… I want it.”

Loki’s answering smile was genuine and pleased. “I am glad to hear it.”

“How often do you want to do this?” Tony asked.

“Whenever we both have the time and inclination,” Loki said. “I can travel to wherever you are, when the need arises; although someday I would like to have you in my home, in my bed.” Loki leaned forward slightly. “Understand that, should you need me, I will come. As your dominant and as your friend, your emotional well-being is important to me. Please, reach out whenever you wish.”

Tony was deeply touched by that. “Thank you,” he replied sincerely. “That goes both ways, you know. If you want to be here for me, I want to be there for you too.”

Loki gave another pleased smile. “Thank you, my pet. There are rules I would ask you to follow. To please me.”

“Like what?”

“You will be mine and mine alone. You will bed no one else. You will not pleasure yourself, as I wish your orgasms to be only when I allow it.”

“No masturbation?”

“I didn’t say that,” Loki said slyly. “You may touch yourself as often as you wish, but you may not come without permission.”

That… sounded weirdly hot. “Yes, my god.”

“You agree that you are mine, then, for as long as we both wish it?”

“I do.”

“Say it.”

“I am yours, my god. For as long as we both want it.”

Loki surged forward and kissed him, dominating Tony with nothing but lips and tongue. The kiss lasted until Tony was struggling for air. When Loki pulled away, Tony was turned on and breathless. “I will have you now,” the god said lowly.

“How can I please you, my god?”

“Strip for me.”

Tony stood and undressed, maintaining eye contact as much as possible. Loki seemed to like that; at least, he didn’t tell Tony not to. When he finished, Tony waited for the next order.

Loki slid down on the couch a little and undid his jeans. He slicked his erection with his magic lube. “Come here,” Loki said. “I would have you ride me.” 

Tony straddled his lap and slid down carefully onto his god’s cock. It wasn’t difficult; Tony’s ass still somewhat stretched from the night before. Watching Loki closely to make sure Tony was doing everything right, he raised and lowered himself slowly. His entire focus was on his god’s face and body language. Tony wanted so badly to please him, to make him feel good. His own pleasure felt secondary to doing everything right.

“Faster,” Loki commanded, and Tony obeyed. Experimentally he twisted his hips slightly on the next stroke, drawing a gasp from Loki. “Do that again.” Tony did, and kept it up as he rode his god’s cock. Loki was panting and gasping. Tony’s own pleasure was building, and he shifted his angle to press more firmly on his prostate.

Tony was nearing orgasm when Loki said, “Stop.” Tony couldn’t help but whine, but he obeyed. Loki stroked his cheek. “Breathe, pet.”

Tony took a deep breath, willing himself to calm. When he felt more settled, Loki ordered, “Begin again.” Tony started over, slowly, changing his speed whenever commanded. He was desperate to come, but even more than that, he wanted to make his god lose himself in Tony.

Again, Loki stopped him right before they both came. This time, Loki let Tony get so close to orgasm that the god grasped Tony’s cock at the base to stifle his release. Tony was on the verge of tears as Loki made him start over once more.

As Tony found himself on the verge a third time, Loki said, “If you can make me come first, I will allow you to follow.” Tony bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as he put all his effort into not coming while getting Loki off at the same time. It felt like the hardest thing he’d ever done. He was gasping for air as he rode, twisting his hips and using every trick he could think of to make Loki come.

Finally, _finally_ , Loki grabbed his hips and came within him.

“May I touch myself?” Tony begged, so very close himself.

“Yes,” Loki whispered, still gripping Tony’s hips painfully. Loki’s cock was still hard enough that Tony could ride it for a few more strokes as he jacked his own dick furiously.

It wasn’t quite enough. He needed, he needed --

Loki slapped him across the face. “ _Come_ ,” he demanded, and that was it. Tony was done. The orgasm wrenched out of him, nearly excruciating, splattering his god’s shirt with his come. Tony could finally stop moving. He closed his eyes in relief.

Loki immediately pulled him into a hug. “You were so good for me, pet. So perfect.”

Something in Tony unwound at that, at being told he was _good_. He had pleased his god, and the resulting bliss felt incredible.

Tony floated along on the high of subspace for a while, vaguely aware of Loki picking him up and carrying him to a bed. A glass of water appeared at his lips, and he drank it gladly. He was so, so far gone, and it felt wonderful.

His god held him tightly all the while, whispering sweet words to him, telling Tony how beautiful and special and brave he was. Tony absorbed the praise like a sponge. He was tired again, and he drifted off to sleep enveloped in bliss.

When he awoke Loki was still there. He was asleep, and had shed his clothing at some point. Tony shifted slightly to wake his god. The movement caused Loki’s eyes to open. Tony smiled.

Loki kissed him lightly. “I hope I have not made a mistake, my precious one.”

Tony tensed. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no. You were perfect. I simply fear that topping you again so soon will make your sub drop worse. It is my fault, I couldn’t resist you. I should know better.”

“I don’t mind,” Tony said. Surely the drop wouldn’t be that bad.

“ _I_ mind.” Loki stroked Tony’s upper arm soothingly. It was one of the few places on his body that didn’t ache. “I don’t want my own desires to come before your needs.”

Tony was shocked. Nobody had ever said anything like that to him before. Loki wanted to put Tony first?

Loki noticed Tony’s shock and frowned. “What is it, pet?”

“I… nobody says that. Why would you say that?”

“Why would I put your needs first?” Loki looked confused. “You are my submissive. I told you, it’s my responsibility to ensure your well-being.”

“I didn’t think you meant… that.” Tony realized he was freaking out a little.

Loki hugged him. “Has no one ever thought of what you need, my pet?”

“People have said they cared about what I _wanted_. Nobody ever thought about what I _needed_ , unless they thought that was a kick in the ass. If that makes sense.”

“It does, and I am sorry to hear it.” Loki kissed Tony’s temple. “But I am here now. You have nothing to fear from me.” He kissed Tony lightly on the mouth. “I would bathe. Join me?”

Hot water felt terrible on Tony’s back, but he was getting used to the pain. It was even sexy in its way, reminding him that he’d been _good_. That he was cared for. Loki insisted on washing every part of Tony himself, and it made him feel pampered in a way that was new to him.

They dressed for comfort in soft pants and T-shirts, and went back downstairs. The couch bore no sign of their scene, and Tony wondered if Loki had cleaned it with magic. But he didn’t feel much like talking, so he just settled in next to his god as they ate leftovers and watched TV.

For all Loki’s concern about sub drop, Tony felt fine. Happy, even, in a way he was unfamiliar with. He could handle the drop, if it came at all. Right?


	4. The Drop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: lots of emotions in this chapter. Important ones for Tony, but it's pretty intense.

Tony woke up in the morning feeling... off. He hadn’t had any nightmares, but he felt unsettled. Loki was still asleep, so Tony crept out of the god’s room and got dressed in his own. He went to the kitchen, drank a large glass of water while he waited for his coffee and toast to be ready, and ate quickly so he could get to his lab.

Once there, he loaded up his latest project: a low-orbit plane engine, using energy cells adapted from the Aesir’s spaceship. He tried to work for a while, but couldn’t focus. Instead he grabbed a pair of sunglasses and went down to his private beach to sit on the sand and watch the waves.

What the hell was he doing with Loki? Maybe they should just go back to being friends. He didn’t think he could handle being a submissive. Sooner or later he was bound to disappoint Loki, and the god would leave him stuck with this new need for a top. Fuck. He was changing already, becoming something he wasn’t sure he wanted to be.

His mood was spiraling strangely out of control He realized his hands were shaking. He was cold. Why was he cold? He wanted to go back inside, have a drink -- scotch sounded like a really good idea, come to think of it -- but he couldn’t make himself get up and move. Instead he sat there shivering and feeling sorry for himself.

He heard footsteps on the sand behind him, and then Loki was sitting next to him. Loki looked Tony over, noticed the shaking. “How do you feel, pet?”

“Don’t call me that,” Tony snapped. “I can’t fucking do this. I quit.”

Loki stayed calm. “Sub drop,” he said. “What do you need from me?”

“I don’t need _anything_ from you. Why don’t you fuck off back to Asgard?” Tony didn’t know why he was so angry. He felt like he was on a roller coaster that had jumped the track. It was awful.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Loki handed him a bottle of water. “Please drink this.”

Tony threw it at him. Hard.

Loki just caught it and set it down next to him. Why was Loki so calm? Tony wanted a fight. He wanted to scream and hit and make Loki felt as bad as Tony did right now.

Tony started to get to his feet, desperate to do _something_. But Loki grabbed his wrist.

“Let go of me,” Tony growled.

“No.”

“Goddammit, you asshole, let me go!” Tony tried to shake the bastard off, but Loki was too strong. He wasn’t even holding onto Tony very tightly. The motherfucker was just that strong. Tony hated him in that moment. He fought against the hold until his arm hurt, and he started crying. Fuck. He was sick of fucking crying.

Loki pulled Tony down into his lap and stroked his back. He was still sore from the whipping the day before, and the pain made him cry even harder. He was sobbing and fighting to get away and Loki just held him, as if nothing was wrong. He grabbed the god’s shirt and tried to shove him down, but it was like trying to move granite. All the while he was bawling his eyes out.

Eventually he ran out of tears, wrung out from too much emotion. He felt drained. He kept his eyes down, unable to face Loki.

“Are you done, pet?”

Tony didn’t answer. He couldn’t.

“Look at me, Tony.”

Tony didn’t. How dare the god choose _now_ to start using his first name?

Loki put a finger under Tony’s chin, forcing his head up. Tony stubbornly refused to obey. His face might be tilted towards Loki’s, but he could still look away. He was angry at himself, angry at Loki, and ashamed of his outburst. “I said, look at me.”

Unwillingly, Tony glanced up. He wished he hadn’t. Loki’s face was soft, full of concern, and it made Tony want to cry again.

“This is normal,” Loki said, still calm. “This will pass soon. You are safe. You will be okay.”

“I don’t believe you. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with this.”

“You are safe. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to, my precious one. I’m not leaving.”

Tony slumped in Loki’s arms. The god wrapped both arms around him, and this time it felt almost soothing.

“Focus on my breath, Tony.” Loki took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. He did it again, and again. Tony realized that his breathing had slowed to match the god’s. He felt better. Still awful, but not _as_ awful.

Once again, Loki offered him the water bottle. This time he drank from it instead of throwing it.

“I’m really sorry,” Tony said quietly.

“You are forgiven,” Loki said.

Could it be as simple as that?

Tony sat in the circle of Loki’s arms for a while, just breathing and listening to the tide come in. he found himself relaxing into the embrace, and rested his cheek on Loki’s chest. Maybe he’d be okay.

His mind quieted. He still felt like his skin was too tight, but it was bearable. He’d stopped shaking, too.

“Let’s go inside, pet. You need to eat.”

“I had some toast earlier.”

“You require protein. Meat.”

“Okay,” Tony said, feeling small. He followed Loki to the back door, where they silently brushed the sand from their clothes before going inside.

Loki made Tony sit at the table. He pulled eggs, butter, and bacon from the refrigerator and started cooking. He seemed to know where everything was, but then they hadn’t been spending every waking moment together. Loki had probably gone through the kitchen his first day here.

Tony watched the god prepare breakfast with neat, efficient movements. And then Loki started speaking. He told Tony the story of the time he’d convinced Thor to pose as a woman to get his hammer back from a guy who’d stolen it. Tony had read the myth -- he’d done his homework back when he’d first met Thor and Loki -- but he found himself drawn into the tale. It was different than in the mythology. Much funnier. By the time Loki brought him a plate and a glass of juice, Tony was even smiling a little.

He dug into his food, hungrier than he’d thought. As he ate, Loki continued to talk of inconsequential things: court gossip, the book he was currently reading, his experiences trying to grocery shop in Oslo.

It was comforting.

They wound up on the couch again, Loki’s hand on Tony’s knee and a mindless action movie playing quietly. It suited Tony’s mental state. “How did you know what I needed?”

“Experience,” Loki said. “Your words. Your body language.”

“It was awful. Still is.”

“I know, pet. And it’s my fault.”

Tony put his hand on Loki’s “Don’t-- don’t beat yourself up about it. Okay?”

Loki exhaled slowly, reminding Tony of the beach. “I will try.”

Tony scooted closer, wanting to comfort his god as much as he wanted the comfort himself. He still felt disconnected in some ways. Loki rearranged them so he laid stretched out on the sofa with Tony on top of him. He wrapped one arm around Tony’s lower back, and stroked his hair gently with the other hand.

Tony slept. When he woke up Loki was still watching the TV. A different movie was on, something Korean from the sound of it.

“How are you, pet?”

Tony thought about it for a while. “Better,” he said. And it was true. His skin felt the right size again. “I want to get some work done.”

“Want to, or ought to?”

Tony thought about that too. “Want to. I feel like creating something.”

Loki smiled at him. “I’m glad.”

They went to the lab, and FRIDAY brought up the engine schematics. Tony worked for a while. Loki sat in the corner with a book, keeping him company without disturbing his train of thought. Still, he found himself glancing at the god regularly.

It was peaceful.

Dinner was Indian food, and then there was still more _Red Dwarf_. Watching it, Tony felt nearly normal.

When they went to bed -- this time in Tony’s room -- Loki held him close, and Tony took comfort in that.

Sub drop sucked. But he’d gotten through it. The first time was always the worst, he’d read. So next time he’d know what to expect, and probably wouldn’t get so low. At least, he hoped not. He realized he was already thinking to the future, of Loki topping him again.

He fell asleep with hope in his heart. _Next time_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write a really realistic sub drop. The only difference between the last time I seriously dropped and Tony here is that I didn't throw anything...


	5. A Temporary Goodbye

The next day was Friday, and Tony was due at SI headquarters for a board meeting. He put on a suit and tie and went to find Loki.

The god was laying on the couch, reading. “I’ve gotta take off,” Tony told him. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Loki huffed a laugh. “There are very few things you won’t do, Stark.”

“True.” They shared a smile.

“Wanna come with?” Tony asked impulsively. “Not into the meeting, but you could bring your book to my office and we could get some dinner after.”

“I don’t want to sit around waiting for you when I could be on the beach,” Loki replied. “I will, however, come to you in your office when you’re done.”

“That works,” Tony agreed. “I’ll call you.”

He decided to take the Maserati today. The drive was about 45 minutes, and Tony spent it with his music cranked up. He sang along, even. He felt pretty good. It surprised him, considering he was about to see Pepper.

He was only 20 minutes late to the meeting. It took 10 minutes to shake everyone’s hands and ask how they were doing.

Pepper was looking at him oddly. He ignored it. But after the meeting she grabbed him and pulled him to the side. “Tony? Are you okay?”

He was startled. “Yeah, why?” 

“You seem happy, but… Your wrist is bruised, sitting down hurt you, and that bite mark on your neck… Is someone abusing you?”

He’d forgotten about the bite mark that was only half-covered by his shirt collar. Loki had broken the skin, so it was black and blue and scabbed over in a couple of small spots. He kinda liked it. He made a dismissive motion with his hand. “My sex life is none of your business anymore.”

“If someone’s hurting you…”

“He’s not.”

“ _He_?”

“Loki. Asgardian strength, you know? He’s learning.” Tony was pretty pleased at coming up with that on the fly.

“You’re fucking _Loki_.” Pepper was disgusted -- she hated the god -- and it pissed Tony off.

“It’s none of your business, Ms. Potts.”

“ _Tony_. I still care about you, you know.”

“And yet you still left.” Strangely, he didn’t feel as angry about that as he had even earlier this week. He was, however, furious that she insulted his dom. “Nevermind. I’m out of here.” He turned his back and walked away.

\--

He called Loki when he got to his disused office. The god arrived a moment later. “You’re angry.”

Tony let out a sigh. “Pepper.”

“Your ex. What did she say?”

“She saw the bite mark and assumed you were abusing me.”

“I am sorry.”

Tony shrugged. “Whatever. Let’s get some dinner.”

They sat outside at a French bistro. It was still bright and pleasantly warm out, although the sun would be setting soon. The conversation flowed; they still insulted the hell out of each other, but every so often they’d share an intimate look and it made their sharp words softer.

Tony could get used to this. Being with Loki was as comfortable as it was fun. But tomorrow Loki had to leave. New Asgardia needed him. Tony sighed. 

“What’s wrong, Tony?”

“I think I’m going to miss you.”

“And I you,” the god replied. “But I am only a phone call away.”

“I know.”

At home they made out on the sofa like teenagers, and then sucked each other off. The entire night was spent learning each other’s bodies more, each other’s likes and dislikes. They slept on and off, but mostly they fucked, not being able to get enough of each other.

In the morning. Tony was still tired and sore, but happy. “Anytime you need a vacation, Lokes, you know where to find me.”

“I do. And I will call you tonight to check on you.”

Tony was relieved to hear it. He was worried that he’d fall apart as soon as Loki was gone.

“I would ask you to do something for me while we are apart, my pet.”

Tony had learned that that particular nickname meant Loki was addressing him as his sub, not as his friend. “Yes, my god?”

“I wish for you to fuck yourself every night with your ‘Clyde’ before you go to sleep. I want your body to remain open to me at any time, ready for my use. You are not allowed to come, but you will bring yourself as close to release as you can before stopping.”

Damn. Even after all the sex they’d just had, Tony was getting hard again. He’d already promised not to come without his god’s permission. This was going to be more difficult than he’d thought. “What happens if I come?”

“Nothing. I told you I will not punish you. I will be disappointed, but I will not harm you.” Loki touched Tony’s cheek. “However. Should you succeed in controlling yourself, I will reward you with pleasure you cannot imagine.

“I would like to have a session with you every week, so I will come to you next Sunday at 2:00 your time. Eat first, and drink some water. Be kneeling in your bedroom when I arrive. Do you understand?”

“Yes, my god.”

Loki kissed his forehead. “I will check on you later, my precious one. And please, if you need me…”

“I’ll call or text. I promise.”

“I will hold you to your word.” He kissed Tony’s lips, gently. “Until Sunday, my pet.”

And then Tony was alone.

\--

He felt fidgety, so he headed to the lab and lost himself in work. He was surprised when Loki called him. So soon? But then Tony realized it was almost ten at night. Whoops.

“How are you, pet?”

“Pretty good. I had a breakthrough on this engine design.”

“Have you eaten since breakfast?”

“Errr… no?”

“Tony. You must take care of yourself. Go eat something. Protein..”

“You’re ordering me to eat.”

“I’m ordering you to take more care with your well-being,” Loi said sternly. “You will eat at least two meals a day, and drink a glass of water every two hours.”

“You can’t control my life, Loki.”

“I am not trying to. But you have no respect for your well-being, so you must be taught.”

Tony sighed. “I will try, my god.”

Loki’s voice was gentle when he next spoke. “That’s all I can ask, precious one. If you have no care for yourself, then allow me to care for you. FRIDAY, can you hear me?”

“Yes, Mr. Odinson.”

“Please set alarms throughout the day to remind Tony to eat and drink.”

“As you wish, Mr. Odinson.”

“Thank you.” He resumed talking to Tony. “I must go. It is morning here, and I have a meeting with the treasurer.”

“Don’t have too much fun.”

“I’ll try my best.” His god hung up.

Tony stood up, stretched, and went to the kitchen. He made himself a sandwich and drank a glass of water. It was late; maybe he should go to bed and obey his other ongoing command.

In bed, Tony lubed up Clyde and worked the dildo into his ass. He fucked himself until he was panting and cursing Loki, but he fought off his release and stopped before he could come. Afterwards he cleaned the dildo and put it back in his nightstand. He got back in bed and turned off the lights.

Sleep didn’t come easily, and not just because he was still horny. Loki was changing his life, his daily activities. Part of him wanted to rebel, but at the same time he was touched that Loki was so concerned about him. He wanted to be good for his god, and it was frightening how important that had become to him.

Time passed. Tony worked, watched shitty movies, kept up with his scientific and engineering journals. Normal life, really. But there were differences. He was eating regularly and staying hydrated, and it made him feel better. Loki always checked on him when the god got up in the morning; with the nine hour time difference, it meant Tony got to talk to his dom every night. Every so often Loki would randomly text him a link to read. Usually it was to articles. One time the link was to a digital comic called _Sunstone_ , a lesbian BDSM romance that left Tony hard in his pants and wishing it was Sunday already.

Finally, _finally_ , the week was over. Tony ate lunch, showered, and knelt at the foot of the bed a few minutes before 2:00. 

His god appeared. “Hello, my pet. Have you been good for me this week?” Loki ran a hand through Tony’s hair.

“Yes, my god.”

“Are you ready to play?”

“Yes, my god.“

“I’m glad to hear it. Lay on the bed, on your stomach, and spread your legs.”

Tony scrambled to obey, eager.

He felt something press gently into him, some kind of plug. It wasn’t terribly large. Tony made himself relax. Then the plug began to vibrate.

“Look at me, pet.” Tony obeyed. Loki held a flogger in his hand, a different one than last time. The leather strands were thinner, and had knots in the ends. “I am going to beat you with this, and then I’m going to make you come.”

“Thank you, my god.”

“Don’t thank me yet, pet. I want to see how many times I can make you come, how much you can take. It will not be pleasant, but you will submit to it regardless. Do you understand?”

Tony licked his lips. “Yes, my god.”

“Close your eyes.” 

Tony obeyed, and braced himself for the whip. He was surprised when Loki straddled his hips instead and began to massage his back. His hands were slick with some sort of sweet-smelling lotion. He worked the tension out of Tony’s muscles, leaving him limp and pliant.

Loki moved away. Tony was already gone, already in subspace. Weird that he could get there without pain.

And then the whip landed on Tony’s upper back. There was the agony he’d expected earlier. Tony tried to get away, but Loki put a hand on the freshly-wounded skin. “Be still.”

Tony made himself stop moving, and then Loki was beating him again. There was a rhythm to it, and despite the pain Tony found himself relaxing into the whipping. It hurt, but he knew when the blows were coming and could brace himself.

Suddenly Loki hit him out of sync with the rhythm, and Tony cried out. Suddenly the steady pace was gone, and he didn’t know when the next blow would land. It made the pain worse to not know when it was coming. Tony was crying, as much from the not knowing as from the agony of the lashing. He tried so very hard to keep himself still, but when he clenched his muscles to fight off movement the whipping hurt even worse.

He was about to safeword out when Loki stopped. The god rolled him over, making him moan from the pain of freshly-whipped skin touching the sheets. “Hands on the headboard,” his god ordered, and Tony struggled to obey. Once his hands were in place, Loki kissed the tears from his face. “Do not move.” His god knelt between his legs and took Tony’s cock deep into his mouth. He sucked painfully hard, and Tony came. The relief of it only lasted a second as Tony’s cock grew too sensitive for Loki’s ministrations, and Tony fought the urge to push Loki off him. He felt a tingling sensation as he grew hard again. Loki reached up to pinch his nipple roughly, making Tony cry out. He raked his nails down Tony’s chest, still sucking Tony hard enough that it was nearly unbearable.

The plug in his ass started vibrating faster, and Tony came again. Once more the tingling of magic made him erect, but his cock was so sensitive that he started sobbing. Loki was merciless, though, and brought Tony off twice more.

Tony was drained, empty, nothing more than a husk. He whimpered with relief when Loki finally pulled away. His god removed the plug, bent Tony’s legs up, and fucked into him hard. Tony could do nothing but lay there pliantly as his god used him. As Loki pounded into him, words spilled from his god’s lips like jewels. “Oh, my precious boy, so good for me, you are so good, so perfect…” Tony just laid there and took what was given to him. Finally Loki came with a shout. He kissed Tony’s mouth, his collarbone, the scratches on his chest. Tony just watched him through heavy-lidded eyes, unable to react. 

At last Loki rolled off of him and took Tony into his arms. He rearranged Tony’s limbs like a doll so that Tony was tucked against his chest, their legs entwined.

Tony floated along on the high of the scene, his mind completely empty. There was a bliss to it, exhausted as he was. He drank water when it was given to him. He might have dozed off for a bit. He wasn’t sure.

Eventually he came back to himself a little. Loki kissed his cheek softly. “There you are, my pet.”

“Was I good?” Tony’s voice was unsteady.

“You were perfect, my darling.”

“Thank you, my god.”

Loki kissed him again. Tony was still pliant, his body heavy even if his head was light. Thinking was too difficult, so he stopped trying.

He slept.

Sometime later Loki woke him. “Dinner is here, my pet.”

Tony grumbled half-heartedly. 

“Come, precious one. You need to eat.”

Tony climbed out of bed slowly, legs wobbly. He ached all over. Loki helped him to the bathroom and dressed him.

The food cleared Tony’s head, and he ate his steak with gusto. He realized Loki was watching him. His god smiled, the brilliance of it making his face almost glow with pleasure.

Tony gave him a small smile in return. He felt oddly shy under Loki’s gaze.

“Thank you, pet.”

“For what?”

“For making me happy.”

Joy suffused Tony’s entire being.

What would next week bring?


	6. Bindings

Loki was late, and Tony was starting to panic.

He was naked and kneeling at the foot of his bed, and it was 2:10. What if he wasn’t coming? What if Loki had given up on him? 

When his god finally arrived, he slumped in relief. “My apologies, pet. I was had an idea and needed to stop by a hardware store.”

“For what?” Tony was having some horrible mental images for a moment.

Loki brandished a roll of black electrical tape. “This.”

“What’s it for?”

“I wish to bind you, but I want you to be able to free yourself easily.” At Tony’s terrified expression, his voice gentled. “This isn’t about truly restraining you. It’s about teaching you to trust me.”

Tony was really, really not sure about this. But he wanted to trust his god so badly…

“If you do not like it,” Loki said kindly, “you know your safewords. Never be afraid to use them. I will never hold it against you if I go too far.”

Tony had loved everything Loki had done to him so far, so surely he could handle this. Right? “I will try, my god.”

Loki’s face lit up, pleased with the trust and submission. All right, pet. On the bed, face up. I want you to be able to see me.”

“Thank you, my god.” Tony was grateful that Loki had thought of that. He was shaking as he laid on the bed. 

Loki bent over and kissed Tony softly. “I promised you I would never harm you,” he said. “I meant it.” He took Tony’s hands in his own and positioned them the way he wanted. He picked the tape up, tore off a strip. Slowly, gently, he wrapped a single loop of tape around them both. “You can pull this apart any time you need to,” Loki told him. “I will not be disappointed in you. Do you understand?”

Tony nodded. “Use your words, pet,” Loki admonished softly.

“Yes, my god. I understand.” Tony looked at his hands, bound together. He knew it was more symbolic than anything else, but what it symbolized made him shake harder. Loss of control. Tony was giving up control. It frightened him deeply.

Loki kissed him, his tongue pushing its way into Tony’s mouth, possessing him. He reached down to stroke Tony’s cock; Tony hadn’t realized he was hard until that moment. Tony moaned, tilting his hips towards his god’s hand. Loki chuckled. “So very eager for me,” he murmured. “Have you missed me?”

“Yes, my god.”

“And I you, pet.” Loki stood. He made a motion with his hands; when they stilled he was holding a riding crop. “Bend your knees and spread your legs wide. I promise you I will not whip your genitals. I am not that cruel. But I wish to learn how much the insides of your thighs can take.”

Tony obeyed, worried about how the sensitive skin there would react.

“Don’t move, precious one.” Loki tapped Tony’s inner thigh with the tip of the crop. He delicately struck the skin all over, from his knees to right next to Tony’s balls. The next hit was harder, the one after harder still.

Tony tried to close his legs, but Loki put on foot on his knee and held the other knee in his free hand. “I told you not to move,” he growled, and struck Tony’s thigh harder.

Tony howled with the pain. The blows came faster and faster. Something in his brain broke, and he disconnected from his body even as he writhed on the bed. He was flying. He felt so good, even as he suffered for his god. His bound hands twitched, the tape reminding him who was in control, who he belonged to.

He was dimly aware of being fucked, of Loki above him. The god took hold of Tony’s weeping cock, and suddenly his awareness rushed back in like a freight train. “Please, my god. Please let me come. Pleasepleaseplease…” And then orgasm overtook him. The world when white for a moment.

When he came to he was being held close, as usual. “Didja come?” he slurred.

“I did,” Loki said, smiling. I”m very proud of you.”

“Yeah?” Tony closed his eyes, so very happy to have pleased his god. He let his mind be empty. They’d done this four times now, so this part was familiar now. It was still delicious.

A thought penetrated his mental fuzziness. “Didn’ cry this time.”

“No.” Loki stroked his hair. “You are adjusting.”

“Good. Hate cryin’.”

Loki chuckled. “I know, pet.” He held Tony’s cup for him. Tony realized that aftercare was a ritual of its own. It comforted him.

“Hungry,” Tony mumbled after a bit.

“We’ll eat when you can get up.”

Tony laughed, still light-headed, and tried to roll over. “Hands’re still tied.”

“Do you want to pull them apart?”

“Nah, you do it. My god. I love you.”

Loki stilled for a moment. “You say that now, but wait until you try to put your legs together.” He chuckled. “It’s going to hurt.”

“You could heal me.”

“Do you really want me to?”

“Not really.”

Loki smiled as he peeled the tape from Tony’s wrists. “There you are, my pet. Free at last.”

“Mmmm. Tony leaned in and kissed Loki, Their tongues tangled. If Tony was a cat he’d be purring.

As usual, Loki helped him to the bathroom, washed and dressed him. He led him down the stairs by the hand, and Tony watched as Loki heated up a ready-made lasagna that had been in the freezer. They ate together before Loki had to leave. Before he went, Loki kissed him a final time. “See you soon, my sweet.”

After he left, Tony went to the workshop to play. He wanted to experiment with a new alloy for his suit. As he was fucking around with the numbers, it suddenly hit him that he’d told Loki he loved him.

Well, fuck.

It was true, too, which made it even worse. Loki was everything Tony could want in a partner. The things he did to Tony in bed were only part of it. They had only been fucking for a few weeks, but they’d known each other for over a year. For all Loki’s snark and sharp edges, he was kinder to Tony and more invested in Tony’s happiness than anyone he’d ever been with. And Tony wanted to make him happy, too -- not only as his dom, but as a person.

Smiling to himself, he went back to work.

\--

When Loki called that night to check on him, he sounded more guarded than usual. “What’s wrong, Lokes?”

Hesitantly, Loki said, “May I come to you? We need to speak in person.”

Oh fuck. Tony was getting dumped. “Uh, yeah. Okay.”

Loki appeared as Tony hit the End Call button. “Can we go upstairs?’ Tony asked. “If you’re going to break up with me I’d rather you not do it in here.” He tried to keep the bitterness from his voice. Tony Stark, fuckup, was being abandoned again.

But Loki just blinked. “I’m not here to end our relationship, Tony.”

“You’re not?”

“No.” Loki frowned. “I came to tell you that I care for you as well, but I’m worried that your… love… for me is because you’ve never had a dominant before. Some subs get very attached to their--”

“Loki. I wanted you in my life even before we started doing this. We were friends, remember? I want all those parts of you too. When you’re not topping me you’re as asshole, but so am I. We’re perfect for each other.” Tony ran a hand through his hair. “Even if we stopped being dom and sub right this minute, I would still want to be with you. I’d miss it terribly, I’m not going to lie, but you’d be worth it.”

“I’ve… never had a romantic relationship with any of my submissives before,” Loki confessed. “I have very little experience with love. I don’t want to harm you.”

Tony wrapped his arms around his god. His friend. His love. “You won’t.” Tony leaned up to kiss Loki softly. “You care too much. You’re a better person than you think you are.”

“For you, I will try.” Loki held Tony close. “You mean a great deal to me, and.. I believe I love you too.”

That was good enough for Tony, He smiled and hugged his god tightly. “Thor’s going to give me the shovel talk, isn’t he.” It was not a question.

“Oh, undoubtedly.”

“Fuck. Maybe I should wear my suit.”

“Probably.”

“You wouldn’t defend me?”

“I might, depending on if you promise to suck my cock afterwards.”

“Bribery will get me everywhere with you, won’t it?”

They grinned at each other. 

Yeah, this was going to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have enjoyed this little fic. I've turned it into a series, because I expect to add some smutty one-shots as I feel like it. No promises, but I have a lot of ideas...


End file.
